Munches:
First of all, you have to be aware of where exactly you are going. Munches for example are very different from all other BDSM-related gatherings, so let’s start with these.
A “munch” (originally called “burgermunch”) is a gathering of BDSM-people in a public place. Usually a restaurant. The idea is to provide a non-threatening, low threshold meeting place where people can meet others to talk, find information and exchange ideas. Needless to say this would not be the appropriate place for revealing BDSM clothing and gear and really not a good place for BDSM behavior. This means no spanking or pouring hot sauce on your subs tongue at your locate Road House. Remember you are in public.
Also, a munch is usually especially created to provide a female-friendly environment, so “hunting” or “trolling” (i.e. partner search) is not an option. Munches are a gatherings where like minded people can actually meet in a safe environment. They are a wonderful idea for anyone new to the scene.
Dresscodes:
Nudity: Nudity is far from generally appreciated in the BDSM-scene. In fact, probably the opposite is true. While it may be tolerated, it certainly does not make everyone happy.
Outfits: You do not have to wear a slutty rubber miniskirt or leather trousers. As a rule of thumb most BDSM parties and venues will accept black dresses and these can be off the shelf black trousers and a black (T)shirt. Not everyone is into black, not everyone is into latex, or rubber, or leather. Oh, and by the way: your bare skin is NOT an outfit!
Specific BDSM dresscodes have a reason. It helps keeping out the wannabees and voyeurs and it enhances the “bdsm look and feel” of the party or gathering. Plus, BDSM is kind of special to everyone. By dressing up you both show it is special to you and you emphasize that you understand it is special for everyone else as well. Hence an evening dress, or in fact a tuxedo, may also be a very good choice.
Awesome post.