The Wasteland BDSM Information Blog

Standard Rules

Almost all parties and gatherings, as well as individual venues, have rules and many of them are pretty standard. This is what most of them will roughly look like:

Behavior outside the venue: Do not confront the general public with things, they do not want to see. Keep it down on outfits and BDSM-behavior in the parking lot. Reserve that for inside. If your outfit is very explicit, dress up inside (most venues will offer facilities to do so). Upon leaving, don’t honk and keep it down on noise in general. Other people will want to sleep.

No cameras! Never bring a camera of any kind, not even if you “only” plan to make pictures of the two of you. Bear in mind that others may have reputations or jobs at risk and that it will scare the living daylights out of many, if they even spot a camera.

Active play belongs in the play area! Almost all parties and gatherings will have one or more designated play areas. Restrict active play to these areas ONLY. The rest of the venue is reserved for social contact and do not invade other people’s privacy, for example by folding your sub over a bar stool to spank her. People hate that and will hate you for doing it. It only shows disrespect to others. Nudity is considered active play, hence should be restricted to the play area!

No unprotected penetration. Active sex does not belong in a public place, so usually active sex (unless maybe if there is a darkroom available) is hardly ever an option. If and when you penetrate with toys during active play, always use condoms and gloves, for your own safety as well as that of others.

Dungeon Masters/Monitors We will explain about dungeon masters (the more modern word is “dungeon monitor”) elsewhere in this section. He or she is first and foremost responsible for your and everybody else’s well being. Suffice to state here that a dungeon master IS the party boss and that you should follow his or her guidance. And yes, subs can be dungeon masters as well. Ignoring their guidance will usually get you thrown out.

Public safety. For good safety reasons most parties and venues do not allow drinking, smoking or glass in the play area. Dungeon masters may want to check out your equipment, again for safety reasons.

Be polite and modest! If you are allowed to watch other people play, do not press your nose onto their bodies. Maintain a respectful distance, do not interfere, do not comment and show respect. Don’t talk when watching a scene. Please also do not throw yourself on others, you will only make an idiot of yourself.

Towards Others

A dominant is not YOUR dominant and a slave is not YOUR slave and vice versa. Do not assume roles unless you have been invited to. People are people and – probably even more so than in every day life – in a BDSM context people have a right to privacy. Do not call someone Mistress, Master or slave just because you assume you should do so. Ask first, that will be greatly appreciated.

Don’t try to “turn people around”! Someone who is dominant does not become submissive just because you fancy him or her. Neither does a slave become a dominant for that reason. Accept and respect people’s roles, preferences and inclination.

Hands off! If a slave is required to reveal certain body parts, she does so for her dominant. That does NOT mean you can touch these parts (or constantly stare at them).

Keep it down on alcohol and recreational drugs. For many reasons it is not a good idea to drink too much. People do not like it, it does not make you a “better dom or sub”. Plus, venues and parties are usually under police scrutiny, so your drunken behavior later may seriously hurt the interests of others (such as the venue being closed). Recreational drugs will almost always get you AND the venue in trouble with the authorities!